Maddison's Musings

Apr 30, 2018

My Favorite Queer Books

Maddison Simmons April 30, 2018 0 Comments

This month's post is brought to you by two of my favorite things: books and things regarding the LGBTQ+ community. I've found that finding books with LGBT+ characters is becoming easier now a days, but there's still a ton of room for improvement. For example, out of the eight books I have in today's post, only two have main characters that are queer and female. That being said, I have read all of these books and I do genuinely enjoy them. I would also like to state that these books aren't in any particular order, so they're not ranked by how much I like them.

Note: This post contains affiliate links which you can learn more about in my disclosure HERE.

This Book Is Gay

This book is helpful no matter how you identify. It's more like a gay instruction manual on how to handle life when you're LGBTQA+ it covers a lot of stuff. It's even a helpful book if you're straight. Plus, it's funny. Who doesn't love a funny book that's also gay as hell? Count me in.

You can purchase the book on Amazon HERE.

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe

The two main characters, Aristotle "Ari" and Dante are two boys growing up in East Texas during the 1980s who become fast friends, even though it seems like they have nothing in common at first.

You can purchase the book on Amazon HERE.

Will Grayson, Will Grayson

Written by John Green and David Levithan, this book explores the lives of two boys, both named Will Grayson who end up meeting unexpectedly. Their lives become intertwined as the reader learns the story of two boys with the same name, but very different lives.

You can purchase the book on Amazon HERE.

Every Day

Each day, the main character, A, wakes up in a new body. They have rules set so that they don't get attached, but one day they find themselves in the body of a guy names Justin and they meet his girlfriend, Rhiannon. Although they keep switching bodies, they find themselves reaching out and trying to be with Rhiannon each day.

You can purchase the book on Amazon HERE.

Everything Leads to You

Set in modern Hollywood, the main character Emi is a young set designer who is a true romantic at heart. While on the job, a mysterious letter in an old record leads her to meet Ava. This is one of the only wlw novel that I have read and that doesn't include harmful representation of queer women. The author, Nina LaCour, is a lesbian too, and you can tell when you read this cute novel that ends with happy queer women.

You can purchase the book on Amazon HERE.

You Know Me Well

Set in San Francisco during Pride, this story has alternating gay and lesbian characters that form a bond while out in the city one night. Although they had been going to school together for years, it isn't until they both end up sad and alone that they form their friendship that leads to exciting new adventures.

You can purchase the book on Amazon HERE.

Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda

When Simon finds another closeted gay kid at school via a school-wide Tumblr account, he decides to start emailing the boy anonymously under the name Jacques (the other boy under the name Blue). The two start their correspondence and form a relationship, even though they don't who the other boy is. The book has recently been turned into the film Love, Simon, which is also a really cute movie (and the first movie from a major studio with a gay main character).

You can purchase the book on Amazon HERE.

They Both Die at the End

Despite the title, I desperately found myself wishing the two queer main characters (who were also boys of color) could live, but alas the title rang true. Although you go into the novel knowing that both boys will die, this is a truly touching novel about living out your last day in the best way that you can.

You can purchase the book on Amazon HERE.

And there we have it, the eight queer books I own and have read and enjoyed. I hope that I can discuss more queer books in the future, but for now, those are the only ones that I have read. I have a list of queer books I still want to read, and maybe I can do another post like this. Have you read any of these books/seen the Love Simon movie? What did you think about it?

~Maddison

(Source for the pride hearts!)

Mar 31, 2018

An Anxious Week

Maddison Simmons March 31, 2018 0 Comments

My anxiety has spiked in the last week and I have no idea why. Needless to say, this past week has not been my favorite. When I get nervous, I get nauseous, which makes me nervous, so it's really just an endless cycle, which is never a fun time. I can't tell if it's that end-of-spring-semester-holy-shit-why-is-there-so-much-work-to-do stress, the fact that I probably want to stop piano lessons for a bit but I have no idea how to tell my piano teacher, the idea that in the next month I have to write a 15 page paper on Margaret Atwood's "The Handmaid's Tale" and then give a 10 minute presentation on said paper, something else, or simply all of the above. Now that I type it out, yeah, it's probably all of the above. I think the worst part about this week is that everything I'm worried about is so far ahead in the future, I know I shouldn't been worrying about it, which just makes me feel even more shitty because my brain won't shut the fuck up, you know?

On Thursday, I was so anxious that I skipped all of my classes and sat in the library doing work all day. I did go and check out the Counselling and Psychological Services (I'll refer to it as CAPS because I'm lazy and don't want to type the whole thing out again) at my university and I scheduled a walk-in appointment instead of going to my English class, which did help a bit. Since it was my first time visiting CAPS, it was really just like a "get to know you"/"what's wrong" type of appointment, but it did help. I met with a psychologist and we discussed my options and she gave me a few references for cognitive therapy, which helps with anxiety disorders. I also got to play with a CAPS/UTA themed fidget spinner and stress ball for the hour, so that was another plus. But the one thing I really took away were how many resources that my university has to offer. Each semester, I get six free CAPS counselling sessions, since part of my tuition pays for it. They also have licensed, professional psychologists, so they know what they're doing. I also liked how confidential it all was. When I did therapy in the past, I wasn't as open and honest because I knew my mom could get the information if she needed to. But at school, I was completely honest with who I am and my mental health history, which was so relieving. I think I'm going to reach out to some of the resources she gave me and try to go to therapy again, because my anxiety is really getting on my nerves (pun intended). I highly suggest you check out what type of resources are available at your school/university/workplace, especially if they're free/you're already paying for it with your tuition.

Another thing we discussed on Thursday was how mindful meditation helps reduce anxiety, stress, and other mental health issues. I've actually been trying to meditate more this week, and I did find that it helped me calm down, even if it was only during the actual meditation session. I've been using the app called Headspace, and I really like it. I tried to meditate between 20-30 minutes each night before bed last week, and I found that it helped me fall asleep quicker as well. It lulled me into a calm state, and for a little bit, I felt alright again. I was given a list of free mental health/wellness apps, so I'll scan the handout and leave it down below for you to check out as well.

Overall, although this has been a tougher week for me, I am feeling better now, and I'm glad that I have these resources to fall back on. If you also suffer from anxiety or other mental health issues, how do you try to calm yourself down or cheer yourself up? Besides meditating, I like to watch sitcoms, such as The Office, or I watch Bob Ross painting. I also like to journal, and I have a whole journal dedicated to when I'm not feeling my best. Even talking to someone can be helpful. Above all else, I want to remind you that you're not alone in your struggles. Somewhere out there someone else might be feeling the same as you. Hopefully spring will bring positive growth in your life.

~Maddison

Feb 19, 2018

How I Stay Organized in College

Maddison Simmons February 19, 2018 0 Comments

I've always been fairly organized, but I realized once I made it to college that what I did to stay on top of assignments wasn't working out for me as well anymore. I used a planner all throughout middle and high school, but I used it less and less as I made my way through my first semester last year. Part of the problem was that I simply didn't open it up. I just used each professor's syllabus to check dates of tests and assignments. Although that worked, I was flipping through a lot of different papers, which annoyed me. I didn't want to print out each syllabus this semester, since the earth is dying and trees are important etc., but I knew I needed to do something new to stay organized. That leads us to today's post.

The first thing I did was make a huge master list of every assignment and test with Microsoft Excel. I got the idea from a blog post I originally found on Pinterest a few years ago. That post, which you can read HERE, goes through all the steps on how to create this master list/spreadsheet, but basically, all I did was use each syllabus and go month by month listing each assignment, test, and/or quiz, the due date, and what class it's for. It took a while, but it made the next steps so much simpler. You could stop there and just use this list as your main checklist, but I didn't like it as much as I thought I would, which leads us to our next step.

These are all of the materials I currently use to keep my life on track. I found both the planner on the left and the to-do list in the middle at Target for $1 each, and while I splurged and got a $20 Leuchtturm1917 on the right, you can easily find cheaper notebooks for a bullet journal. If you can only get one thing though, I would personally get the planner on the left. I don't know if Target is still selling them, but you can probably find something similar online on Amazon or something. It's just a simple 12-month planner with a page for each month.

As you can see, each day has plenty of space to write out what assignments you have. I took everything from my master assignment spreadsheet and wrote it down on this calendar. I assigned each class a color, which really helps me quickly distinguish what work I have to do for which class. That's what was missing for me on the spreadsheet: the color. This calendar is such an easy way to keep track of all of my assignments and make sure I don't miss anything, especially since professors don't remind you when assignments are due like they do in high school.

The next thing I do to stay organized is to make a section in my bullet journal where I list out all the homework that I have due that week. This is from my spread from last week. I do a simple circle/bullet, then I fill it in once I complete the assignment. If you want more information on how I set up my whole bullet journal, you can check out my last post HERE. It goes into more detail with pictures of each page/spread. Although it helps me stay on track and organized, it definitely isn't needed. I use it more as an actual journal, as I write daily reflections for the most part, but I like the creative aspect to it, since it's seen as more than just a simple planner.

The last thing I use to stay organized is a simple to-do list pad. Although I sometimes have a list of weekly to-dos in my journal, I really like this note pad because I can use it on days when I have a lot of things I need to get done. It's split into three different sections: a general to-do list (the main section), an urgent list (bottom left), and a someday list (bottom right). It's not something I desperately needed, but you know when you're at Target and you just keep adding things to your basket and then suddenly you're checking out and the total comes up and you're just kind of like okay there goes all my money? Yeah, that's what happens each time I go to Target, but their dollar section is just so cute!! I love all of the stationery they have, and it's a dollar, so you really can't beat it. Anyways, yeah, I got this because it was a dollar and I really like it.

Overall, this may seem like too many steps, but this helps ease my mind, as if I didn't have some sort of system like this, I would be checking each syllabus each night to make sure I'm not missing anything. There's so many different ways you can organize your life, this is just how I do it. I hope you've enjoyed this post and if you do anything similar (or vastly different) let me know in the comments below if you want.

~Maddison

Feb 3, 2018

My 2018 Bullet Journal Set Up

Maddison Simmons February 03, 2018 0 Comments

Hello everyone! Today I thought I'd finally get around to uploading a post about my bullet journal. I first tried the bullet journal system back in 2016, but I stopped after a few weeks, and the same thing happened when I tried again in 2017. I mostly failed because I didn't know what the heck I was doing. Then, in August last year, I decided I'd try it again and did a smaller version for my first semester in college. It worked really well, and it's so cute to flip back through, so I've decided this year to go all out and dive into the bullet journal community/life. I've started a bujo/blog Instagram, which you can follow HERE, and it helps me feel motivated to keep my bujo going. So without further ado, let's dive right on in.

This year I've started my journal with a squared Leuchtturm 1917 in their emerald green color.

Here we start out with my yearly overview. Most people would have a quote on the left side of the page where it's blank, but I didn't want to mess it up, so I just left it blank.

Part one of my future log. Also, I don't know what happened when I tried coloring in February lol.

I have a simple watch list set up on the left and on the right I have a space themed Instagram tracker to track how much my account grows over the year.

This is one of my cuter spreads, as I made each month look like a balloon, then I fill in each birthday.

I don't know many quotes, thus I start off this year being a loser.

In trying to control my spending this year, I have a list of everything I buy, as well as a list of things I want to buy (coming up soon).

I found this layout from gloomstudy on Tumblr and it's so cute I love it. I've kept with it, but I've changed it up a bit to fit more how I like (as you'll soon see).

I absolutely love writing little notes to my future self and I usually do it each year or so, so I thought I'd stick it on in my journal for safe keeping. I also have the "Things I Want To Buy" section which helps me list things and take time to think if I actually need it or not.

I like this page mostly because I allow myself to just scribble and see how a pen looks on the paper.

I color code each of my classes so I save time and don't have to write which class it is, which makes it easier for me. This is also the week where I switched up my layout by switching what side the information was on, since it was easier to write my daily recaps on the left side.

Each month I have a different color scheme/palette and I don't want them to collide, so I ended January before switching to February.

I thought I'd end this post before I get into my February spreads partially because I don't plan anything out until that week, and partially because I like pictures/videos of the journal all filled out more like a flip through than a plan with me type post. I also have a few pages that are just simple journal pages, as well as a page with my class schedule and homework color code, but I don't know how to blur just a part of an image, so I just left it out. It's nothing spectacular, just a basic class schedule.

~Maddison

Jan 6, 2018

2018 Goals

Maddison Simmons January 06, 2018 0 Comments

Although I don't usually care about the new year, I do like the sense of happiness it can bring to some. Each year, I set goals for myself that I wish to accomplish. Goals are much different than resolutions, as resolutions seem less likely to succeed since most people drop theirs by the second week in January. I actually achieved many of my goals for 2017, and I'm really proud of myself. I got my passport, graduated high school, started college, went to six different concerts over the year, and made time for friends more. All-in-all, 2017 was a pretty good year for me. Here's to an even better 2018, but first, let's talk about some goals.

Read and Write More

My first goal is something I set every year. I always want to continue reading and writing outside of school, but I never used to set exact goals, I would just be vague. This year though, I want to read at least 20 books and write at least 10,000 words on anything creative for myself. I'm setting my goals rather low, but I don't know how busy I'll be this year, and I'd rather achieve them than set my goals too high and feel disappointed when I don't reach them.

Visit Another Country

Now that I finally have my passport, I want to use it. I don't know where I'll go, maybe Canada, maybe Europe, but I know that I just want to get out there and travel. There are a few study abroad opportunities I'm looking into over the summer, but if that doesn't work I at least want to go to Canada or some place to get my first stamp in my passport.

Try Yoga and Meditation

I've tried both a few times last year, and I really liked it, but I found it difficult to find time to do it. I know both yoga and meditation can help calm you down and are a great way to battle mental health issues such as anxiety and depression, which is why I want to try to do both more in the coming year.

Keep Up a Bullet Journal

I kept a small bullet journal for last semester and I really liked it, but since I used a smaller cahier notebook, it only had enough pages for a monthly spread and a weekly spread for five months (August through December). I've shelled out and bought a really nice journal this year, and I get to do more creative designs and such with it, which I love. I hope to make my next post about my bullet journal and set up, as well as supplies and where I gather inspiration. I hope to have that post up before the month is over, but who knows.

Learn to Control My Spending

Last but not least, I want to spend my money wiser this year. I'm a really big impulse spender, so whenever I go to Target or see something cute on Amazon, I just buy it. It's not the best thing, and I really need to learn how to budget, especially if I want to study abroad this year. Not only for travel, but knowing how to budget and prioritize my spending will help me throughout my life.

I think these goals are pretty reasonable, and the only one I'm really not looking forward to is learning how to be more responsible with my money. I quite enjoy buying things, but alas I must save up. What about you? What are some of your goals or resolutions for 2018? Let me know by leaving a comment below and I'll see you next time I post something.

~Maddison

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